5 Habits Worth Breaking As An Act of Self-Love

As always, I’m also guilty of doing these things, but having left them behind, I see the difference it brings to my personal growth as well as spiritual journey. I have regained a sense of power by breaking these small, pestering habits. And here’s my reasoning behind why you should too!

#1 – The Habit of Saying ‘touchwood’.

The phobia of getting jinxed, or of good luck being robbed from you when you speak about your success out-loud, is preposterous!

Drift Wood, Wood, Beach, Nature, Water

If you earned something by luck it’d make sense that you fear losing it, but someone that’s reached the pinnacle with hard work has nothing to worry about. Of course, it’d be annoying to REDO something but hey! Your destiny can NOT be taken away from you. 

If you’re a firm believer of the mystical law of Cause and Effect, you need to stop believing in the touchwood shizz.

Read more : 7 Things You Need to Know About the Law of Cause and Effect

#2 – The Habit of Making Your Needs Insignificant. 

There are multiple ways we do this, and I’m sure we don’t realize half of them. It all stems from the belief that we don’t have the right to take up the space we do. 

Self-love, love yourself, fulfill your needs

Let’s see what I mean, with some examples:

  • Saying sorry for asking too many questions OR asking a ‘stupid’ question,
  • Rushing yourself when you’re using a public space (gym gear, or rushing out of line at the market), 
  • Getting flustered when someone honks at you,
  • Feeling pressurized to finish speaking quicker because you feel someone isn’t paying attention to you,
  • NOT having a morning routine and always putting other people ‘first’ (whether it’s your office emails or running errands for the family), because you’re such a goody-good two shoes!
  • And more…..

Especially in public situations like these, please remember one simple rule -their impatience has nothing to do with you. YOU have the right to take up the time and space you’re wanting to.

#3 – The Habit of Making People ‘Beg’ You to Do Things, Because You Keep Saying No As a Reflex Response. 

NOTE : This is NOT the same as saying no for things that ethically matter or for setting up relationship boundaries.

Let me explain this one with a somewhat silly story from a while ago.

One day, my mom was asking my dad if he’d like to go for an evening walk. She spent 5 minutes trying to convince him, with many ‘valid arguments’ while he said no repeatedly in his own silent way. Until it hit me – why are we trying to persuade him SO much for something so little? It’s just a walk! The moment I said this out loud, everyone burst into a laugh.

And ofcourse dad went for a walk after that. But the point is, sometimes we just become trained to say no. 

I heard a brilliant piece of advice one day, (can’t remember the source, please comment if you’ve heard this too and know who said it) that…. 

The first 5 seconds define what you will do, when presented with a decision to make. You are more likely to be in NO mode if you start that way. So why don’t you switch to WIN-WIN mode?

I Beg Your Pardon, Marriage Proposal

I’m not for saying absolute, unconditional YESses. I’m for a solution that keeps everyone happy. Unless you’re in a toxic relationship. Then – get out of there!

Read More : How To Say No to Toxic People

#4 – The Habit of Living In The “what-ifs” Mindset. 

In the beginning of December 2019, I was trying to switch my blog to a different host because I’d heard so many people rave about it from the SEO aspect, when things completely went south. 

In the process of migration, I lost all my content, all the followers, as well as all several other configurations that were essential to my blog. It was terrifying. 

I realized how for-granted I had taken my blog all along, and how much it meant to me to be able to express myself the way I had been all these years. I decided to let my need go of chasing SEO as well as living in the “what-if” mode. Things gradually fell back into place as I moved back to my old hosting. 

Ever since, I try my best to honor what I have instead of rushing to get more. 

#5 – The Habit of Explaining yourself.

Oh boy, did this take me a while to learn!

In both situations – whether someone compliments you, or if you’re judged for not doing something per society’s standard, stop explaining yourself.

Board, Positive, Well Done, Recognition

For compliments – just say thank you and smile. If it’s congratulating your success, you can always mention how much hard work went into this, incase you feel a plain thank you isn’t humble enough.

For criticism, sometimes the best response is no response. Embrace silence and free yourself from getting tied up in the drama.

 

Final Thoughts 

We are infinite beings, but we are here for a finite period per lifetime. Let’s make sure we make the most of it by living with as much self-awareness and consciousness as possible! And a lot less worrying about what we have, who is watching us, or what we ‘should’ be doing. 

Just be YOU! 🙂

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Vasundhra is a Spiritual and Self-care writer based in Vancouver, Canada, who shares her thoughts across various channels like her blog, My Spiritual Shenanigans, Quora and Instagram. She aspires to make spirituality more practical and metaphysics more understandable.

 

15 thoughts to “5 Habits Worth Breaking As An Act of Self-Love

  • Avatar
    shelby

    These really hit home with me! Especially the one about waiting until someone beg’s me to do something. I think for me that comes from me wanting to feel wanted, which I know I am because I have friends and loved ones who prove that to me. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Candice

    The I’m sorry and what if’s really resonated with me. I started practicing replacing I’m sorry with thank you…it’s hard but feels good!!!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Brandi-Leigh

    Such a great read, and a great reminder of some habits to work on breaking to help your mental health.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Rebecca

    I like the way you have given succinct explanations with your own experiences. All great points and reminders about eliminating the “shoulds” in our lives.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Maysz

    I break the “what-ifs” mindset to focus the current and I stop pleasing people for able to like me. This is such great post!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Jessica F. Walker

    I love all of these. I especially love getting rid of The one where we train ourselves to say no to things, without realizing that’s what we’re doing. I think a lot of people do that, myself included without realizing what it is that we’re shutting ourselves off from. This is a great list of things to consider.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Joanna

    I think I am struggling with the second point. It took me so long to put my needs first and realise that if I don’t accomplish them, I won’t be able to be happy., which automatically affects the ones around me as well.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Weaving Life's Web

    Love the getting rid of Whats ifs! This is definitely the one that I need to work on more. Great list, thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Michele

    This post is amazing. Very inspirational. I find myself all the time saying knock on wood or downplaying things I have done in fear they will be taken away. I am pinning this!

    Reply
  • Avatar
    aisasami

    What an interesting read, I never thought about how the things mentioned above would count as breaking self-love. I have to think more about these five habits and if they came into my life.

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Magen

    Great article breaking that habit of “what if’s” and “explaining yourself” are so hard but they really important to do. I’ve got a bad habit of both of those and I’ve been working on breaking them if nothing else just to reduce my own stress levels

    Reply
  • Avatar
    Amanda Croaff

    Yes! #2 really hits home for me. It’s important to remember at the end of the day that we are the main character of our own story, and self happiness should always be a priority.

    Reply
  • Avatar
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    • Avatar
      Serena Rogers

      Hey! Thank you! I did it myself! With a lot of persistence and perseverance haha.

      Reply
  • Avatar
    Death

    Your mode of telling all in this piece of writing is really fastidious, every one be able to
    easily understand it, Thanks a lot.

    Reply

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